"I'm not surprised. You think people would stick around if they found out the secret to keeping the country together was experimentin' on children?" He sighs.
"Buncha people livin' in blissful ignorance, all of them."
"Or that she was the one causing all the attacks and voidouts." Through Higgs, technically, but still. Sam's coming to realize that Higgs is no more to blame in this than he is. They both believed in Amelie so fiercely, they were willing to do anything she asked.
"It's not even worth telling them. Easier to wait out our days til the event happens."
"That's..." he cuts himself off. He looks distraught, frowning deeply. "Homo demens were around before me. Are still around now. The attacks will continue."
Nothing has changed at all. The world remains exactly the same as it was before Sam had ever been forcefully recruited. "Only real question is how long we've got. I found it more comforting when I knew it was going to be immediate."
"Shit. Well, they'll have to find another porter to order around. To convince that the UCA is worth fighting for." He's out of the game. Retired. He snorts lightly and shakes his head at himself. Porters never really retire, but maybe he'll be the first. He and Higgs.
"Could be days. Could be centuries. You might not have to worry about it at all."
Higgs snorts. "Really, I'm just hopin' the Final Extinction is enough to take out a repatriate. The alternative is much, much worse."
He's cynical though, so cynical. Having an eldritch horror whispering in your ear for the better part of a year will do that to a guy, even one who wanted to help people.
"Jesus. Nothing left but the two of us." Alone in the crater of the world Amelie left behind. Maybe there are other repatriates in the world, but Heartman had suggested they were few and far between.
So great then. A handful of them left, scattered across the earth. And then what?
He leans up against the wall, not looking like he knows what to say. "With any luck, it won't end up being a problem." Higgs isn't so sure it will, but it's... something. It's at least some sort of acknowledgement that Lou, having DOOMS, is likely completely aware of the conversation they're having. He does glance to where she's sleeping, but like before, it's obvious there's no desire to harm her at all.
Higgs is still blown away by being plopped back onto the mortal plane. There's no reason to completely be doom and gloom. "Maybe it's best not to say anything that could upset the little lady."
There's a real smile from Sam, there, and he reaches out to brush his palm over the top of her head. "She's already got you too, huh? Anyone who spends more than a few minutes with her ends up adoring her. She got taken away for repairs, when she was still in her pod. I thought Deadman wasn't going to give her back. I was ready to fight him for her."
"S'what happens when they get taken away at seven months. It stunts their growth." She's so tiny. So fragile looking. But she's a fighter, Sam knows that. Stronger and braver than he could ever have imagined.
"She's only been out of the pod a few weeks. She'll get bigger." He hopes. He wants, so badly, for her to have a normal childhood. She deserves one.
Right. She's a preemie. A tiny little thing, but incredibly powerful, and resourceful enough to use the odradek as a shield. "I... when I shot at her. That wasn't me. I'd... I'd never harm a child." He has too many scars, both literal and emotional, to consider it without the Extinction Entity's influence.
Sam wouldn't be surprised if she had DOOMs, too, given what he's seen her do. Protecting him like that. Smart little girl. Like her mom. And stubborn, like her dad.
"I believe you." Especially with Amelie that close. Knowing now how good she was at playing the victim while controlling everything. Playing with both of them. "She's a master at manipulation."
"I was a fool. Desperate for somebody, anybody, to notice me." It's too much to admit to Sam, but he doesn't care. He's so tired. He'd been convinced the confrontation on the Beach was his last act, that he was going to be whisked on to the other side.
"Your DOOMs helped. But like you said. You were desperate for someone to notice you. She feeds off of that. Gives you that attention that you crave. Makes sure she's all you'll ever need."
He pushes his fingers through his hair with a sigh, pulling it back into a ponytail so it's out of his face for a bit. "I know because it's what she did to me. Made sure Bridget didn't pay me any attention, so all I had was her."
Sam's right, it's that simple. That someone could have so much power over him is chilling. "Some people want nothing more than to be able to get under your skin."
Maybe that's too much of an admission that he knows about Bridget, but Higgs doesn't think it matters. It's not like even if he wanted to leave the shelter, that anyone would believe the word of a terrorist.
"The spider web you put her in was apt." In the end, that's all she was. A spider, pulling at the threads of her web. Making all the poor flies caught in it dance.
Sam wouldn't be surprised, not entirely, if Amelie had told her sob story about being separated from her body. Poor soul, helpless to watch her body grow old and die. Sounds like a tragic tale, if you don't know how she used it to her advantage.
"At first I was seriously pissed about the pizza. The first delivery, I was bitching the whole way. But then it got to be one of the more fun ones. Way easier than transporting delicate fossils and antimatter bombs.
Besides, you sent nice e-mail and gave me great reviews. Can't complain." He smiles a little, genuinely. Happy to have something to talk about aside from her.
Higgs can't help the little smile. "'Course I'm gonna pay a guy well for bringing me food." That had always been the plan. He'd been a porter too, after all. And he hadn't entirely wasted Sam's time. Given outlandish orders, yes, but Higgs had been operating on the assumption that he was going to die an imminent death at the time.
He's still not sure what to think of the fact that he's not on the Beach.
"Fancy food, too. I hadn't seen Iberico ham since they were trying to push me into government shit. All those government types loved that fancy stuff." He leans back on his hands, looking thoughtful. He hadn't talked about his time in the White House for -- who knows how long.
"Prosciutto wrapped dates and deviled eggs topped with caviar. I'd eat it, obviously. It tasted good enough. But I didn't care about the ingredients."
Higgs snorts. "To tell you the truth, I'm not sure I got any of that fancy shit. Ain't like I could tell the difference." He's a poor prepper; when he was a kid he wouldn't have been able to pronounce Iberico, let alone know what it meant.
He's learned; he doesn't have a whole lot of experience with the real thing. "The champagne was pretty damn tasty, though. Drank that whole thing on one sitting one night."
"You better have enjoyed it. Busted my ass bringing it here." He finds himself smiling. He shouldn't be having fun with Higgs. Having pleasant conversation with him like this. Shouldn't be making friends.
But fuck he's been so lonely for such a long time. And from the sound of Higgs's journal, his e-mails, Higgs has too.
Maybe this could be good. Maybe this is growth, as Lucy would say.
"Tomorrow, I'm using your terminal to put in an order for a crib and some blankets. I don't give a shit about sleeping on the floor, but Lou needs something better than this."
He opens his mouth like he's about to protest and then shrugs. "Sure," he says instead. "It can get pretty cold at night in this shelter, even with the heating on. And babies need comfortable beds." Hell, even Daddy hadn't been heartless enough to keep an infant Higgs on the floor.
It's just for a little while, he tells himself. Just until he figures out where he can go. Who else would take him in. But in the meantime, Lou can't sleep on the floor like this, and he's be too afraid she'd roll off the cot. So a crib it is.
"I appreciate that. I do. She means -- everything to me."
"It's not like I can really say no to a plea like that." He sounds a little more helpless than he'd prefer, but he's not about to reject Sam's request.
"Like I said... whatever you need. We can rearrange some of this if you need space for baby things." He has absolutely no idea what that would really involve, but it's fine.
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"Buncha people livin' in blissful ignorance, all of them."
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"It's not even worth telling them. Easier to wait out our days til the event happens."
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Nothing has changed at all. The world remains exactly the same as it was before Sam had ever been forcefully recruited. "Only real question is how long we've got. I found it more comforting when I knew it was going to be immediate."
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"Could be days. Could be centuries. You might not have to worry about it at all."
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He's cynical though, so cynical. Having an eldritch horror whispering in your ear for the better part of a year will do that to a guy, even one who wanted to help people.
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So great then. A handful of them left, scattered across the earth. And then what?
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Higgs is still blown away by being plopped back onto the mortal plane. There's no reason to completely be doom and gloom. "Maybe it's best not to say anything that could upset the little lady."
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He shifts awkwardly. "She's awfully tiny, isn't she?"
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"She's only been out of the pod a few weeks. She'll get bigger." He hopes. He wants, so badly, for her to have a normal childhood. She deserves one.
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"I believe you." Especially with Amelie that close. Knowing now how good she was at playing the victim while controlling everything. Playing with both of them. "She's a master at manipulation."
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"Sometimes I wonder why me. Was it my DOOMS?"
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He pushes his fingers through his hair with a sigh, pulling it back into a ponytail so it's out of his face for a bit. "I know because it's what she did to me. Made sure Bridget didn't pay me any attention, so all I had was her."
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Sam's right, it's that simple. That someone could have so much power over him is chilling. "Some people want nothing more than to be able to get under your skin."
Maybe that's too much of an admission that he knows about Bridget, but Higgs doesn't think it matters. It's not like even if he wanted to leave the shelter, that anyone would believe the word of a terrorist.
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Sam wouldn't be surprised, not entirely, if Amelie had told her sob story about being separated from her body. Poor soul, helpless to watch her body grow old and die. Sounds like a tragic tale, if you don't know how she used it to her advantage.
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He'd been used. In the depths of madness, he'd thought he'd be helping people by ushering them to a quick demise. What utter bullshit.
"I was just the boss fight. I was never meant to stop you."
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Besides, you sent nice e-mail and gave me great reviews. Can't complain." He smiles a little, genuinely. Happy to have something to talk about aside from her.
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He's still not sure what to think of the fact that he's not on the Beach.
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"Prosciutto wrapped dates and deviled eggs topped with caviar. I'd eat it, obviously. It tasted good enough. But I didn't care about the ingredients."
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He's learned; he doesn't have a whole lot of experience with the real thing. "The champagne was pretty damn tasty, though. Drank that whole thing on one sitting one night."
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But fuck he's been so lonely for such a long time. And from the sound of Higgs's journal, his e-mails, Higgs has too.
Maybe this could be good. Maybe this is growth, as Lucy would say.
"Tomorrow, I'm using your terminal to put in an order for a crib and some blankets. I don't give a shit about sleeping on the floor, but Lou needs something better than this."
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"Whatever you need to get, it's fine."
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"I appreciate that. I do. She means -- everything to me."
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"Like I said... whatever you need. We can rearrange some of this if you need space for baby things." He has absolutely no idea what that would really involve, but it's fine.
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