Open RP Post

[greatdeliverer]

Comments

[greatdeliverer]

"Oh, fuck yes. I got so fucking tired of being told to be careful, because someone with my skills would be a great loss. Or to watch myself, because the fate of the UCA was riding on me." No one ever asked how he was doing. Dealing with the loss of his mother, dealing with his sister apparently being in mortal peril. They just cared about the mission, and whether or not he was able to complete it.

"I thought of quitting a thousand times. But then she'd be there, looking so sad. So desperate. Begging me to keep going. So I did."

[finalrequest]

"That's what they do. They chew you up and spit you out. It's why I told them where they could shove their goddamn unified country." He laughs. That had been a fun conversation. The guy he'd told off had turned an incredible shade of red before turning the hologram off. "There's no way the alliance will last more than a few years. It'll collapse in on itself with all the in-fighting."

He sighs. "Not that you need to hear my opinions."

[greatdeliverer]

"I don't disagree." Which should probably be weird. And wrong. But Higgs isn't a terrorist, not really. Maybe not really even a separatist, he was just going along with Amelie's plans.

Sam feels sorry for him, really. That's the crux of it. Sam feel sorry for what Higgs went through, because of Amelie. It's a trauma they both share. It gives them a bond, of sorts.

"The country is pretty fucking fragile right now. I think the preppers are gonna pull back out at some point. The rest might follow."

[finalrequest]

"Edge Knot was never going to go willingly. It's why She destroyed it." To be honest, he's not really sure how he feels like it. Should he be angry? It had spared them in the long run, as far as he's concerned.

He doesn't even really regret what happened to Middle Knot. But that had been his fault. Maybe he should. Maybe he will, when more time has passed.

Fuck, he's a mess. "Once they realize nothing about the world has actually changed, some of 'em are going to back out."

[greatdeliverer]

"Nothing has, has it?" All that work he did. Everything he fought for. All worth nothing in the end. He's still too numb from the whole experience to really process that. With more time, he'll be able to be angry about it.

Lucy would say he's dissociating. She'd probably be right.

"Still BTs crawling all over. Timefall hasn't stopped. It's the same shit as always."

[finalrequest]

"The Final Extinction will still happen. That hadn't change, either. Still days, weeks, months, maybe a few years away from it happening." It could be longer for all he knows, but he doubts it will. Amelie had wanted to end it then and there not so long ago. She's not the sort to wait for an infinite amount of time.

"You didn't stop shit."

He's said the line before. He still means it, maybe even more now.

[greatdeliverer]

"I know." He scrubs his hands over his face. Hard. Fuck, he feels useless. If anything he's just accelerated the end of the world by spreading the chiral network.

"They kept singing my praises at the inauguration and all the shit leading up to it. The unsung hero, who helped reunite the country. Made me sick to my stomach."

[finalrequest]

"They've gotta celebrate their bullshit somehow. Look at us, we're nothing but a couple of convenient puppets." He sighs.

He stretches out his long limbs. "They needed an enemy to defeat, and it couldn't be Her."

[greatdeliverer]

"They're honouring her. They made these -- medals, almost. These fucking lapel pins that look like her quipu and I wanted to rip every single one of them off their fucking chests."

Lou fusses as Sam raises his voice, bitter and angry and so, so hurt.

He picks Lou up to hold her against his chest, nose buried against the sparse sprinkling of hair on the top of her head. Humming the lullaby to her gently. To soothe himself as much as her.

[finalrequest]

"Christ, that's horrible."

Horrible for Sam, horrible for himself, horrible in general... he really doesn't know. It just makes him feel hopeless, is all, especially when Sam cradles his kid in his arms like that. She's so tiny, so vulnerable.

He looks around the place awkwardly. All he's got are a bunch of books, empty boxes of pizza, and a huge wall of pictures of Sam. There's not much else for him to do, besides maybe wander into the front and rummage through all the miscellaneous shit he has.

Higgs doesn't move yet, though, instead looking horribly awkward and at a loss.

[greatdeliverer]

It takes him a few minutes of rubbing Lou's back to feel ready to let her go again, and he nestles her back into her makeshift bed.

"It's fucked, isn't it?" he says, finally. "They're so concerned about their goddamned UCA that they can't let the people know that the person that pushed for it was a fucking monster."

[finalrequest]

"I'm not surprised. You think people would stick around if they found out the secret to keeping the country together was experimentin' on children?" He sighs.

"Buncha people livin' in blissful ignorance, all of them."

[greatdeliverer]

"Or that she was the one causing all the attacks and voidouts." Through Higgs, technically, but still. Sam's coming to realize that Higgs is no more to blame in this than he is. They both believed in Amelie so fiercely, they were willing to do anything she asked.

"It's not even worth telling them. Easier to wait out our days til the event happens."

[finalrequest]

"That's..." he cuts himself off. He looks distraught, frowning deeply. "Homo demens were around before me. Are still around now. The attacks will continue."

Nothing has changed at all. The world remains exactly the same as it was before Sam had ever been forcefully recruited. "Only real question is how long we've got. I found it more comforting when I knew it was going to be immediate."

[greatdeliverer]

"Shit. Well, they'll have to find another porter to order around. To convince that the UCA is worth fighting for." He's out of the game. Retired. He snorts lightly and shakes his head at himself. Porters never really retire, but maybe he'll be the first. He and Higgs.

"Could be days. Could be centuries. You might not have to worry about it at all."

[finalrequest]

Higgs snorts. "Really, I'm just hopin' the Final Extinction is enough to take out a repatriate. The alternative is much, much worse."

He's cynical though, so cynical. Having an eldritch horror whispering in your ear for the better part of a year will do that to a guy, even one who wanted to help people.

[greatdeliverer]

"Jesus. Nothing left but the two of us." Alone in the crater of the world Amelie left behind. Maybe there are other repatriates in the world, but Heartman had suggested they were few and far between.

So great then. A handful of them left, scattered across the earth. And then what?

[finalrequest]

He leans up against the wall, not looking like he knows what to say. "With any luck, it won't end up being a problem." Higgs isn't so sure it will, but it's... something. It's at least some sort of acknowledgement that Lou, having DOOMS, is likely completely aware of the conversation they're having. He does glance to where she's sleeping, but like before, it's obvious there's no desire to harm her at all.

Higgs is still blown away by being plopped back onto the mortal plane. There's no reason to completely be doom and gloom. "Maybe it's best not to say anything that could upset the little lady."

[greatdeliverer]

There's a real smile from Sam, there, and he reaches out to brush his palm over the top of her head. "She's already got you too, huh? Anyone who spends more than a few minutes with her ends up adoring her. She got taken away for repairs, when she was still in her pod. I thought Deadman wasn't going to give her back. I was ready to fight him for her."

[finalrequest]

Higgs gives Sam a lopsided grin. "Ain't gonna be rude to a baby if I can help it." He's not so sure that he agrees with the 'adoring' part, but...

He shifts awkwardly. "She's awfully tiny, isn't she?"

[greatdeliverer]

"S'what happens when they get taken away at seven months. It stunts their growth." She's so tiny. So fragile looking. But she's a fighter, Sam knows that. Stronger and braver than he could ever have imagined.

"She's only been out of the pod a few weeks. She'll get bigger." He hopes. He wants, so badly, for her to have a normal childhood. She deserves one.

[finalrequest]

Right. She's a preemie. A tiny little thing, but incredibly powerful, and resourceful enough to use the odradek as a shield. "I... when I shot at her. That wasn't me. I'd... I'd never harm a child." He has too many scars, both literal and emotional, to consider it without the Extinction Entity's influence.

[greatdeliverer]

Sam wouldn't be surprised if she had DOOMs, too, given what he's seen her do. Protecting him like that. Smart little girl. Like her mom. And stubborn, like her dad.

"I believe you." Especially with Amelie that close. Knowing now how good she was at playing the victim while controlling everything. Playing with both of them. "She's a master at manipulation."

[finalrequest]

"I was a fool. Desperate for somebody, anybody, to notice me." It's too much to admit to Sam, but he doesn't care. He's so tired. He'd been convinced the confrontation on the Beach was his last act, that he was going to be whisked on to the other side.

"Sometimes I wonder why me. Was it my DOOMS?"

[greatdeliverer]

"Your DOOMs helped. But like you said. You were desperate for someone to notice you. She feeds off of that. Gives you that attention that you crave. Makes sure she's all you'll ever need."

He pushes his fingers through his hair with a sigh, pulling it back into a ponytail so it's out of his face for a bit. "I know because it's what she did to me. Made sure Bridget didn't pay me any attention, so all I had was her."