greatdeliverer | Open RP Post

"I think I might have been." It makes him hold Lou that much closer, thinking of how long she spent in that pod after Lucy -- god, it makes him so angry.

"DOOMs, maybe. I'd get flashes of things, when I connected to Lou, when she was a BB. Visions, I guess. Of my dad. Talking to me." His favourite is the one where Cliff is reading him a book about Earth, and the moon. Promising he'd make it to the moon, some day.

It's clear he really doesn't know what to do with that.

"The BB I had... it wasn't... it was somethin' She gave me. I know Bridges spread some shit about how I was usin' that technology, but even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know where to begin."

"She probably started that rumour, after giving you the doll. She was really good at manipulating the truth to fit her own story," Sam spits bitterly, and Lou fusses at the sudden anger in his voice.

"Shh, shh. I'm sorry," he murmurs to her, rubbing her back.

"Maybe we shouldn't be saying things that could upset the little lady." It's hard to know, with DOOMs babies, how much they're aware of. Higgs was aware of far to much. "Kinda hard to see babies cryin'."

"Always broke my heart, when she was still in the pod. She'd start fussing, and I couldn't hold her like I wanted. But I'd rock her, anyway. Stroke the case until I got her to look at me. And then she'd smile and the world seemed okay again."

He loves it when Lou smiles. Everything goes soft and pink around the edges and his whole universe focuses down to this little creature in his arms.

...shooting at the kid to slow Sam down just makes him feel worse now. It hadn't even really been personal. He'd been doing what he was supposed to be doing, nothing more. But it still wasn't right.

"You're quite the pair, you two."

Amelie had probably praised him for it. Anything to get Sam disconnected from someone else and reconnected to her. She'd probably hate that they were sitting here, practically making friends. Or that he had friends who were supposed to be loyal to her.

He didn't want to think about her right now.

Sam settles Lou in her makeshift bed, pulling his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

"So are we. You and me, I mean. Both of us living kind of dangerously right now, being here."

"Are we?"

He's not sure he really understands what Sam's getting at. "Ain't you just hiding out for the night?"

Maybe he's just oblivious, but he subconsciously mirrors Sam pulling his knees to his chest all the same.

Higgs has been honest with him so far, and it's not like he can tell anyone. Not without revealing himself, too. "I can't go back. There was an executive order to have my BB unit destroyed. Incinerated, in case she went necro. I couldn't let that happen, so I broke her out of the pod and ran."

He wiggles his finger against her little hand, smiling as she wraps her tiny fist around his finger.

"This was the first place I thought to come. I had a... vague plan to ask one of the preppers up here to let me stay with them, hoping they wouldn't send me straight back to Capitol City."

"Oh."

It's a lot to take in, least of all the implication that Sam is trusting him with such information. The surprise on his face is obvious.

...At least the kid looks like she's doing all right, all things considered. "Well, if you never told Bridges of this place, I doubt anyone's gonna be looking here."

Sam notes the surprise on Higgs's face and shrugs a shoulder. "Who are you going to tell? You're in the same position as me. You're supposed to be dead." He raises his arm to show the lack of cuff on his wrist. "As far as they're concerned, so am I.

And no, I never told Bridges about this place."

He still doesn't know what to think of Sam's point, but at least it makes some amount of practical sense. "Well. Here we are."

The logic doesn't make sense to Higgs, but then, when he had been a porter, he'd been used to finding creative ways to avoid the UCA. The people of the Western Region didn't want anything to do with it, and neither did he. "It ain't much. I'm sure you stayed with preppers who had better accommodations for you."

"Here we are."

The accommodations could be better, sure. But he wasn't expecting much after having seen the place. And besides -- "You weren't expecting me. And I wasn't expecting you. But it looks like we're in this together, at least for tonight."

Here they are.

Hm. He still doesn't know what to do with it, but it's looking like Lou doesn't hold any ill will towards him, if she even remembers him. He's not quite sure how it works. "Well, you're welcome here. Ain't gonna kick you two out."

"Yeah?" It's Sam's turn to look a little surprised, this time; he hadn't expected Higgs to just -- open up his home to them. Especially after they'd broken in, essentially. But it's not like either of them have anywhere to go, really.

He should leave in the morning. Seek out another prepper he has a good relationship with, ask for their help instead. But something draws him to Higgs. Something he can't quite put his finger on, yet.

"We'd need a little more in the way of supplies, if we're gonna stay." A bed for Lou, for starters.

If Higgs is expecting Sam to stay for longer than a day, it doesn't show on his face. He looks a little puzzled by the request, but doesn't ask for clarification. "Sure, I guess. It's a bit late to be puttin' in an order now, though."

Oh, maybe he misread that. "I mean," he says hesitantly. "If we're staying any longer than a day."

It's not the best idea in the world. But it's also not the worst. Most of the preppers are part of the UCA now. There's a risk in asking them to go back on their promises after he tried to hard to convince them.

Higgs has no loyalties, not anymore. He could damn well be Sam's safest bet.

Something dawns on his face. "Oh, oh... you mean..."

Well. He's not sure what to do with this information; nobody has ever indicated they want his help before. Need, sure, but want? "Well, this here shelter might be a part of the UCA, but it's registered to a very camera-shy fella. I don't think anyone at the UCA would find ordering some furniture all that suspicious."

"When you said you wouldn't kick us out, I just thought -- " He shakes his head, watching Lou slowly doze off rather than looking at Higgs. Embarrassed.

But he didn't say no.

"I'm not great at -- people. That's why I liked being a porter. Deliver the package, get your rating, go. No talking needed."

"You're not the only one." Higgs can't help the awkward grin. "You know, when I was a kid, preppers would always act like they thought I was gonna rob 'em or something." Maybe it's too much to admit, but he's never really talked about it with anyone before.

"Kinda weird thinkin' about, I was just doin' my job, but everyone was so suspicious of a kid doin' it."

"You don't see a lot of young porters out there. Or old ones, for that matter." It's an act of trust, sharing these secrets with each other. The more secrets they share, the more they show they can trust each other.

Maybe.

"It's a dangerous job, for a kid."

"It's not that dangerous," he scoffs. Is that too much? It's probably too much. "If I didn't have DOOMs, sure, but I always have. Can sense them, know when they're around." At least until it started to fade... but here in the shelter, that doesn't matter.

Sometimes being a paranoid prepper does have its advantages after all. "People twice my age would chuck packages at the first sign of timefall. Not me."

"Timefall and BTs are only half of it. There's the terrain, MULEs. Overloading and tipping yourself off the side of one of these mountains up here. Not to mention showing up at a stranger's house."

Plenty of downsides to being a porter. Not a lot of upsides. The solitude, maybe. That's the part Sam enjoyed the most, he thought. Being by himself, moving cargo from one place to another.

But god it did get lonely, sometimes.

"I was pretty small, back then. You'd be surprised how easy it was for MULEs not to notice me." It's obvious fro tone along he's never spoken to anyone about it before. "Sometimes preppers would let me stay the night, but usually I found some cave or something and slept there."

It's a lonely thing to admit, maybe.

"Caves, heavy tree cover. Whatever worked, really," he agrees with a nod. Before he signed on with Bridges, he lived much the same way. Strange to think about, how similar their lives were.

At least sleeping under a tree, no one stole your blood in your sleep.

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